Ceasefire

Heartbeats blend with screams

Whimpers and defeats

Slowly the world shatters

Dreams of old lovers

Gun shots and dead liars

In a span of a lull

The war has begun 

Take me as I am

Hello. I had sleepover/Happy Thursday/Horror Thursday yesterday night at Nica's condo. One of the best Thursdays of my life I can say. We had lots of fun and yawns since we slept not until early 4 in the morning. Movies, eating, Jorge and Kim on guitars and yes all those are really priceless. God, why are these people so fun to be with? I went home at 6, slept, woke up at 12 noon, ate lunch at Jollibee, went to the mall and bummed around. Hihi. Lazy Friday is lazy. ~

Figaro's Strawberry Milkshake and Blueberry Muffin
I don't know either what to do in the mall. Life's boring me.
Lasang puto lang yung muffin :(

And oh, I also had another pair of ear piercings. I don't know why. I told you I was bored. Hehe ~
I didn't go home for the long weekend since I'm watching a play tomorrow at PETA. 

(Source)

And that has been my lame update.

I want Christmas. 

Nothing like how raindrops sound serene and dream-like

I almost forgot that I dreamed of you. I know it's kind of weird that I fell asleep last night thinking that this fantasy exists only in dreams. I believe though that this would lead nowhere. Or maybe somewhere. I don't want to keep hoping. Because it's hard, when all you've got is a little hope. And I am no strong, full of guts girl who would keep going when it comes to this playful joke of life. Stop it. The ants are snatching the crinkles.

Because you were there. No, you always are.

Let me tell you a story about Nanay.

People call her Ate Ella. Or Ate Lya (Atel-ya) without any flirt diction. She loves gardening, orchids, dogs, cute curtains, making her own Christmas lanterns and decorating her own Christmas tree using real branches from fallen trees outside the house. She's creative, strong, patient and loving. She cooks the best adobo and makes the best banana float ever. Her family, as far as I know, was originally from Visayas. She's the second wife of my mom's dad, Lolo Ano. The first one, Lola Lina died of breast cancer when my mom was 7 or 8. Nanay and Lolo didn't have any children. And I feel so lucky that in spite of that, she didn't turned out to be some sort of a villain-ish step mother to mom and aunt.

Since birth my grandparents were the ones who took care of me (and my sister). They were the ones who brought me to and fetch me from school. Nanay was always present in PTA meetings. She was the one who's there during my first communion and confirmation. Then I grew up. Went to high school. Lolo passed away. Ate went to college. And it was you, Nay, who've always been there for me. You were the one who wakes me up for school. You get up early to cook breakfast, boil water so I can take a bath without feeling cold, iron my school uniform, prepare my baon for lunch. All those years, you acted like my real mom. And I miss that. I miss you Nanay. I am always praying for you. 

We'll never know.

Tonight I realized that I should get used to Cathy's bad habits. Even if she finds it hard to put the oil bottle's cover back after using it. Even if she smokes. Even if she sleeps in the morning and do movie marathons and talk on the phone at nights which makes it hard for me to fall asleep because lights are still on. Even if we don't have the same taste for clothes and shoes and songs and all. Even if she cannot just throw at once the shampoo sachets as soon as they're empty. Even if she doesn't put things in proper places, her shoes and used clothes and bath towel. Even if she annoys me most of the time. Even if I'm against almost her every little carelessness and filthiness and feelingness and laziness and hate for mom and pop. Even if I cannot find a friend in her, my sister, my one and only. You know what? I can never hate you at all. Maybe sometimes or most of the time. But those things are nothing and can never overcome my love for you. I may never been able to tell you this. But I love you!