Where my heart goes

More than anyone else and even myself, I know that it is you that I am disappointing. And more than any feeling in the world, it is never easy to see you tired, worried and hurt. What's harder is when I know that despite your efforts, still I didn't manage to give you the supposed results that a good person should earn, at least. I never wanted to imagine myself ruining my every dream just because I failed once. But the thing is, I failed twice. Much has been said yet I know that words can never be enough. I know that even if you say it's okay, or when you say just do better next time there's still that something that would upset you and make you think what has been wrong. I always want to see you happy, because you deserve to be. And it is my responsibility to make sure that as much as possible, it will not be taken away from you. I know that the things that I can do the least will be of much higher value when you see it in your eyes. Forgive me because all I can give you is this.
We never talked of serious matters. We're not used to. And it will never be so easy to change how things used to be. We talk of random, funny, stereotypical, nonsense, sometimes rubbish things. But I am always glad that you never failed to blend in your hidden advices and sensible thoughts and colorful experiences in our every conversation whenever we spend sometime together. I will forever be grateful that God gave you to me. You'll be my priceless treasures and no matter how seldom or often I tell you this, I will never be tired. Thank you for being so understanding. Thank you because you always make me not feel bad about it. Thank you because you always understand. Thank you because you love me. And I love you more than one could ever imagine.